Our Reward

Well, today is a brand new day. How thankful I am that His mercies are new every morning. Boy do I need them today. Yesterday was a drama filled day. For one who hates drama (that would be me) had to use a lot of grace to get me through. Thank You Lord for Your grace too. You know I use it like air to breathe! You are so good to me. Yesterdays post was the source of this drama. I hate that it caused any. I am the first to avoid drama. I mean once it starts I want to drop what I’m doing and hide until it’s over. So far over that no one remembers it.  I’ve had my share of drama and I want no part of it.

My post about the loved one I love who is an addict set the tone for the day I suppose. It was brought to her attention and she didn’t like It I guess. Judgement is all she saw. I’m ok with that. I know my heart and she does too. She just can’t get close enough to herself to see it. She knows me and where I stand. She’s seen me fight for her. Hard! She just can’t see that I’m still fighting, but I have a stronger leader now.  I have the One who overcomes the world. He is the only One who can. I don’t have it in me.

I pray she gets the help she needs and knows we (my family and I) aren’t her enemy. Her enemy is the devil and he wants to destroy her and everything she loves most. He’s such a liar. He body slammed that girl and she’s still unconscious. I know God is doing His thing with her. He’s doing His thing with me too. It’s not an easy road, but it’s worth it. That’s for sure.

I woke up with these things heavy on my heart and before I started my bible study I prayed that God would speak to me about it. You know those times when you  just need a touch of comfort from the Word. They usually come when you don’t expect them, which is so like Him. He likes to surprise us with blessings and those are my favorite. He’s so good like that! I love Him to pieces. He didn’t speak to me in a way that I thought He would. He did speak to me though and I will share it here.

First of all I want to thank Him for the peace that He gives. Had it not been for that I would have been far worse off than I was yesterday. My insides were shaking, can we say bad nerves?  I prayed about publishing that particular post and I felt His approval. The devil was trying so hard to fight me on it. He just loves to throw guilt and hypocrisy in the mix. It was a battle for sure. But, He is my rock and my fortress. My ever-present help in times of trouble. I was in some troubling times yesterday. Even a minor case of drama will set my fight or flight reflexes off and its on.

It feels as if the world around me is caving in and the spiritual battles I feel are pretty powerful. The joys of being highly sensitive. The Lord has blessed me with that too. I have been able to separate myself from a lot of others feelings. Just focusing on Him helps. It’s a journey and I’m strolling along the best I can. I couldn’t make it without Him though.

As for my bible study today. I’m reading Isaiah. I know that a lot of it has come to pass already, but it so relatable to these times now also. I haven’t done a lot of research on Isaiah, but I feel in my heart that the scriptures relate to what is still going on around us. Today as I read Isaiah 3, the verse that stood out for me Isaiah 3:9. “The shew of their countenance doth witness against them;and they declare their sin as Sodom, they hide it not. Woe unto their soul! for they have rewarded evil unto themselves.”

Dang. As I broke it down word for word It makes perfect sense. I mean look around now. It’s the same here and now too. We can see where people stand. Their actions and their character tells who they are. Who we are. My actions speak for me. What I stand for. What I allow. It speaks for me. Just as this  scripture says about Jerusalem and Judea then. The people were speaking openly and without shame about their sin. As if it were not sin. Like Sodom. We know what happened to Sodom. People all around almost celebrating sin like it was the thing to do. No guilt. No shame. No regret. Openly committing sexual acts. Homosexuality, incest, orgies, you name it. It was on. They were supportive of this.

That didn’t last though did it? This scripture tells what was to happen (and still happen) if they kept it up. If we keep it up. Woe unto their souls! That’s not a good thing. If God is saying Woe unto your soul, ya better watch out. That scares me . God then says that they have rewarded evil unto themselves. So, pretty  much, you get what you ask for. You want to support evil, then ya best enjoy it while you can because you are about to get more than you asked for. Bless it! I don’t want that. I don’t want the Lord leaving me with my evil pleasures. Can you imagine?

God doesn’t expect us to change into  a model Christian overnight. He does expect us to try to be better than we were yesterday. To learn and grow and He will turn us into what He created us for. There are many times I haven’t grown when I should have,but He doesn’t give up on me. I just have to learn the hard way sometimes. He never leaves or forsakes us. Unless we ask for it and refuse to repent. He’s gonna just let us wallow in our sin and that my friend is torment. I don’t want that for anyone I know. Sin is temporary pleasure to fulfill the flesh and if you are celebrating that sin and openly expressing it, something is wrong.

A lot of “christians” support love and in doing that are supportive of homosexuality and LGBT communities and things. Yeah, God is love but He isn’t cool with all that. He warns us about this stuff. He isn’t cool with a liar either. He isn’t cool with stealing things, nor with adultery, or selfishness. We all fall in that category somewhere but when I slip and fall and lie or gossip or whatever the case may be that day I don’t want that to define me. I don’t want to live in support of a liar, or a thief or of being known to put something else higher than I do God. It’s not cool. It’s not something to be proud of and flaunt.

We all have our struggles, but declaring my sin is different from struggling with it. If I’m struggling it’s because I know its wrong and I don’t want to do it anymore but I don’t know how to stop or where to go to stop it. It’s an everyday battle and always will be until we reach heaven. I struggle with negative thoughts every minute of every day. That is not going to change. I can either give into them or I can fight them with the Lord. Better yet I can let the Lord fight them for me and I can trust in Him.

There are days I don’t let Him. Like the other day, when I just woke up in a funk mood. ( I hate those days) I woke up negative, I tried to pray and take the route that usually helps me. Nothing was really wrong that day but I was just in a funk. Negative and emotional and trying to figure out why. I had no idea. I’m cooking dinner and  I cooked what I thought was a good piece of steak to make philly steak sandwiches was actually more stringy and like roast.

I cried! I’m on a diet and I wanted a philly cheese steak wrap. Not a roast wrap! How childish was that?  My husband looked at me like “who are you?”. I later laughed at myself but my emotions got the best of my negative self and the philly cheese wrap took the cake for the day. Wow! God didn’t leave me even though I didn’t call on Him like I should have and given it all to Him. He didn’t leave me even though I snapped  at the kids for no reason really when I could have dealt with it in a better way. Which causes guilt for being a “bad mother” and then the cycle starts again. It’s a trap. No, He probably laughed at me too about this philly cheese steak wrap and knew I’d get it together again and He threw a little more grace upon me and here I am. Still learning.

Let’s not end up like Sodom. Let’s not, not turn from our ways. We all have ways to turn from. Even the ones who’ve been Christians the longest. Let’s not end up left with our sin as our reward. There is something so much more for us. Let’s go after it. Let’s go after what God has for us.

Lord, Thank You for your mercy that is new every morning. For Your patience and forgiveness. You are more than perfect. Thank You for leading me and putting up with the times I haven’t followed. God, we all have struggles and you know every one of them. Help us to keep trusting in You to help us with them. Help us learn to hate sin and not the sinner. May we all turn to You no matter what we are in. We  don’t want to be left in our sin. We want the rewards You have for us. You have the power to change us and we trust that You will. Help us see where we need to change. Help us chase after Your reward and not our own. Thank You for loving us enough to show us the way.

In Jesus name, Amen

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One thought on “Our Reward

  1. Powerful! In my own personal journaling just the other day I wrote down I need to be a peace-maker not a peace-seeker. I too hate conflict and have spent most of my life trying to protect myself from emotional drama and discomfort (people pleasing) however having the courage to speak the truth in love through the power of Christ in us in spite of our personal discomfort of the confrontation is itself an act of love. I find often times my discomfort is actually revelation and affirmation change taking place in me which helps me not “feel” so bad for as long.

    Liked by 1 person

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