I feel like I need to write. I just haven’t had the motivation to do it. It’s not like it takes a lot of effort to do it. I just write what comes to me. I guess maybe It’s time-consuming and my OCD starts acting up if I’ve spent two hours doing my bible study and writing. There are only so many good hours in the sun (my step-sister has a pool) before It’s time to get back home and start my daily evening routine. I’d rather lounge by the pool and have my cook and maid do those things for me. A girl can dream right?
I’ve been faithful in reading my bible, but I just haven’t had the call to write about what I’ve been reading. It’s good stuff though. I’m still in Deuteronomy where Moses is telling the children of Israel the law and what will happen if they do not follow God’s commandments. I know the curses He promised on them if they didn’t are no joke. He really had no other choice. It’s not like he wouldn’t give them 8 million chances. We should be ashamed!
Thank You Lord, for Jesus! Which has got me writing today. I was listening to our youth pastor preach this morning and he was on it! He has a fire for God and it is evident. I love it. It’s inspiring and I’m grateful that he works so hard for the Lord. His message was so true this morning though. That God is in the valley’s too.
He explained it in so many ways and each time I kept thinking how true it is. That we all are going to go through valley’s. Had I not, I would never know His goodness. It made me think back to how dark my days were at one time. Yes, I have dark days now. Maybe I need to change that to dim days. I’m so quick to call them dark, but in comparison to the “darkest” days, dim seems more appropriate.
I can’t say I’m on the mountain top right now, but I can’t say I’m fully in a valley either. I’m grateful for that. God knows this in between is good for me right now and I thank Him for it. Those mountain tops don’t last long, but they are quite beautiful. I’ve experienced both. I may have a higher mountain ahead of me, and I will walk and climb it as He see’s fit. But today, I’m out of that deep valley and I can honestly thank Him for it.
It sucked. I can’t lie and say for one second that It didn’t suck. That I didn’t cry more tears than I ever knew possible.That I felt there was no hope. I didn’t even know how to face the next day. It was all of that, and add a lot more. It was messy and ugly, but I am better because of it. I guess I’m just thankful.
I’m thankful that I don’t have to face the darkness like that again. I knew Jesus was on my side, but had it not been for that valley so deep and dark; I wouldn’t know He was my biggest fan. I wouldn’t know He thought I was wonderful. Even though I thought I was horrible. That He was proud of me for just keeping walking, even when I didn’t see anything good ahead. I just thought I was doing what I had to do.
I didn’t know joy was waiting on the mountain climb and the peace that came with the peak. I didn’t know I get to carry all of that with me when He allows another valley to come along. That the peace doesn’t go away. The dark valley is scary, but peace can be found there too. I’ve been in a few very scary, dark valley’s since this deepest valley in the past. Maybe I just thought they weren’t as dark because He was my light.
Whatever the reason, I’m thankful. For His peace. For His grace and Love. For His presence in the valley and on the mountain top. I’m thankful for the dark valley. I wouldn’t be who I am without it. He meant it for my good and I love Him for that.