Even On The Bad Days

It’s another one of those days again. The “off” days. When life is just heavy. For no apparent reason. I dislike those days. I really do. Honestly, I have more of those days than not. I live for the good ones. I’m not going to pretend that I’m always a happy-go-lucky,  let’s praise Jesus kind of person. I wish I were. I’m a force myself to praise Jesus girl, because I know it is the right thing to do. It’s the only way to go. That even on the worst feeling days, He is worthy to be praised.

It’s been a busy day. Three of my kids had doctor appointments first thing this morning. Then I figured we may as well kill two birds with one stone and make my son his check up right after our first appointment. I know better. I get easily overstimulated and I end up an emotional wreck. Every.Single.Time.

I am an introvert. Crowds aren’t my thing. I’m a small group  of people person at max. I’m more of a one on one kinda person. It’s just better for me. So two doctors offices later. Two pharmacies later. Then to visit my Mom. I’m seriously in need of some quiet time alone. It takes me a while to process things. My alone time is for that. And for my sanity. It may be tomorrow before I am alone. (I hope so anyway)

This is where I need Jesus. I can use some coping skills to help as the day goes on, but once I run out of fuel. It’s over with. I hate it too.  I wish I was one of those parents who can go, go ,go without issues. One who  doesn’t need a routine to function. One who can handle all four kids talking at the same time and not get overwhelmed. That ain’t me! My ADHD won’t allow such things to happen. I have the inattentive type. Maybe if I had the hyperactive type I could juggle everything  a little smoother with  better attitude. But, God didn’t design me that way. I’m good with that.

I just have to find a way to take care of myself to be the best I can be. All we can do is try right? So, this hasn’t been a bad day. Its been a good day. Everyone is healthy. We had beautiful weather. We got to see family and help them out some. They got to stay out of school all day because of their doctor appointments. I’m  just overwhelmed. It sounds so stupid and simple,but the way it feels is quite crappy.

Like pressure on my chest. Like the whole day is almost over and I haven’t even done what I need to do at my house. I didn’t get to do my normal routine so I have no interest in cleaning my house today. I have supper to think about cooking by the time my husband gets home. The dog needs to go out. It’s his birthday by the way and the kids are pretty ramped up that we got him some birthday toys and a special peanut butter donut cookie for him to have later.

I just want to go in my room and chill. It’s a little too much. I know it’s really nothing at all,but the way I am wired, it feels like a lot and I want to shut down.  I’m not  going to though. I came home and I got my bible and I read the next Psalm. Just what I needed.

God deserves the praise, even when I’m overwhelmed and don’t want to clean my house. God deserves my praise even when I crave seclusion and have to go to a hospital setting around hundreds of people and interact with my introverted self. In my overstimulation, He deserves to be praised. When I’m frustrated because I just wanna go home and I don’t want to go to another pharmacy today. He needs to  be praised.

On this good, overwhelming, overstimulation, needing time alone day. I need to praise Him. My days are good even when I feel like I feel, because He has done so much more for me than I deserve. I’m glad that He overrules the way I feel.  I didn’t know that for the longest time. I believed that because I felt a certain way that it must be true. My perception of things were way off.

Just because my feelings don’t line up with what the bible tells me doesn’t mean they aren’t true. I believe all that the bible tells me. So today when I was reading His word my feelings started lining up with it when I started praising Him. He doesn’t want me to feel overwhelmed like I do. He want’s me to feel His peace as I praise Him and reflect on just how good He really is.

Lord, You are a great God! You are King of all kings.In Your hands are all creation.You created the sea and it obey’s You. You formed dry land. You are our Shepard and You are a great Leader. You are worthy of all of our praise. Lord, You made me who I am. You know my heart. You know what helps me and what distracts me from seeking You. God I lay that down at Your feet. Help me to see all that You have for me. When the days come like this and I get off track, remind me that You need to be praised. You are so good. You have blessed me so much. Thank You for all that You are. For Your power and Your protection. For Your Word that guides us and comforts us. Help me see You in the midst of being overwhelmed. I want to honor You at all times. Be with each person reading this. Help them know that despite the way they feel that Your truth is what stands. That in the darkness they may be in that You can be praised. You are worthy to be praised. You are in control and we can trust in You. You will never leave us or forsake us.  We love You. 

In Jesus name,amen

 

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